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Friday Wine Night: What’s my name again?

My Friday wine night posts are meant to be a way to open up about me personally. Something that I in all honesty have not been very good at. The typical girly thoughts of judgement, over sharing, fallout, and general “what will people think of me” fears have halted ALOT of what Ive wanted to say! In fact I’ve pulled posts down! However for this new year, I want to finally take my journey in a new direction. I am old enough FINALLY to understand who I am and what I want. I am the first to admit there is always going to be room for growth, but at least I am owning who I am.

Who am I? Well, thats a long complicated story, and something that for most people usually starts with a name. My mum died when I was very young, and we (my sister and I) lived with her when she passed. She had divorced my father. She was actually engaged to someone else. Getting ready to have a new name herself. I was born with a very simple and plain, in MY opinion, name. My name was Debbie Smith. A Basic name if ever there was a name! I apologize to ALL of the Debbie Smith’s that are in the world! Im sure you are all lovely and beautiful and unique, but for me, the plain-ness of my name went further. I wasn’t the cutest child. I didn’t have the typical happy home. My dad actually changed his own name for personal reasons, and ours along with it. So I didn’t get to really connect with Smith, or the “new” name. When I married my ex husband, I naturally took his name. Again, it wasn’t really MY name but I WAS married. When that marriage ended after 13 years, I though diligently about what to do. I had daughters, and one day they too would marry and their name would be different. The name my dad changed it to legally wasn’t mine (found this out doing background checks for a US visa!) so who was I going to be? On my birth certificate the Debbie and the Smith were completed with my middle name, and my mother’s maiden name. I looked at her name. I could be connected to her still. Laughlan. I liked it.  So, I officially and with all of the paperwork with one small adjustment. I changed the spelling to Laughlin. With an “I”. For ME. It was MINE.  I started my new single mother life, and indeed my business, under my new name. When I married my new husband,  and this sweet man learned all about me, he completely understood why I wanted to hold on to this new me. Why I hyphenated my name, in order to show respect for my marriage. To make life a lot simpler for the dreams I want to do, I am keeping the Debbie Laughlin business, and on social media, dropping the hyphen. Its long, its hard to look up, and I want to be accessible. if the unimaginable happens and I get to write my book (my dream!), that too will be under Debbie Laughlin. My wedding ring, my certificate of marriage, all of our personal bills and household ALL contain my married name (and I LOVE LOVE love my husband and being his wife!), but going forth, all social media and search engines will say just the Laughlin. Im opening up about this because I lost myself before, in relationships. Now that Ive found me again, and more importantly, now that I am APPRECIATED just for being ME, I want to revel in that name too. This photo below is me, with my Dad, who is also a photographer. He is a writer, a poet, and very creative. I certainly get my love of these things from him. Just, now, only our names are different. 11908237_10153252578119132_1484945146_n

Author:

Hello there! Welcome to my blog! I am a proud Scottish lass, born and raised. I left behind my home at 22 for America. Although what brought me here is no longer part of who I am, I call both counties home, and at the moment, Virginia is where I have a postal code, until August 2017, when we all move to Texas, and our forever. I am a writer, photographer, encourager of women, and community leader. I believe in cuddles, being kind, and chasing your dreams wholeheartedly. I believe women should be bravely and fearlessly themselves, embracing their stories and trials as part of what makes them beautiful. I love creating tribes and relationships and banishing competitive comparisons. I feel we should all be waving our own unique flag proudly! On February 13th 2013 I married a kind, funny, & sweet man, who really would do anything for me! We celebrated our actual wedding on October 5th 2013, but we get to celebrate both as special anyway. I have two daughters, 22 and 15, and how I wish they had manuals! They do appear in my blogs and give me funny, fristrating, and remarkable stories! Creative, dynamic, hormonal, and smart - both also very different from one another! I am also a step mother now. (She does not reside with us, and is finishing up kindergarten) We are in every way the growing blended family! This is met with challenges & works in progress, but this beautifully chaotic life wouldn't make sense to us any other way. Im using this year to intentionally spend time balancing my life layers, and spending time with my friends near and far. I have found my wings, now Im looking for the place to put down my roots and grow old.

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